Monday, September 10, 2007

Last night when we were coming home from Family night A called to tell us that he and C were getting married in a couple of months! We had just spent the entire evening with him and he tells us on the phone after we leave …!!??? Needless to say, we are not really happy with this information. Lord, please intervene and help him to see that this is not a good decision.

Chase Bank called my cell phone again yesterday and I spoke to two ladies. It is so hard to tell people what we are doing and why because it doesn’t make sense. I didn’t cry this time but I walked away wondering yet again if we are in God’s will.

Tom said the Sheriff came to the house to deliver papers to us and they were pretty much the same as the ones we got in the mail letting us know about the court date. It also mentioned that the “foreclosure sale” will be on October 24th at 10:30am. We are both struggling yet again. It is easy to say you will trust and not be afraid, but actually following through is not so easy. I told one of the ladies yesterday again, after they made the comment that we weren’t doing anything to help our situation, that this was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. It would be much easier for me to go through programs and try to work things out myself because that is what I normally do. I told her that I had to face God one day, the creator of the earth, and I wanted to be able to say that I trusted Him!!

Lord, once again I need confirmation that we are in your will and not off track because I really feel off track right now!

At work 7:30am:

After I wrote my prayer above I went downstairs to make breakfast and pack my lunch for work. Tom came down and we talked some more about how we were feeling. It’s not that we care about the “things” so much anymore but what it looks like to others. It is really hard for people to understand why we aren’t paying the bills and seemingly not even caring or trying… Our integrity and witness is at stake and people are having a hard time with it (like we aren’t!?). Anyway, we read the Battlefield of the mind devotion today and God once again answered my prayer immediately as the devotion was about how the Israelites were such “whiners”:

Numbers 14:2-3

“All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, "If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn't it be better for us to go back to Egypt?"

Lord, help me not to be a grumbler or a whiner but to trust you with my whole heart, mind, spirit and soul!

Then my reading in the hope journal was in Daniel 1 and 2 and Daniel’s prayer when God revealed the king’s dream to him really spoke to my heart:

Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said:

"Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his.

He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.

I thank and praise you, O God of my fathers: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king."

I was telling Tom that as hard as this has been I can see a difference in my perspective on God lately. Just last night at a women’s meeting there was a comment that was made and it was based on all of our human fears and the result of those fears of panic and scrambling to fix it ourselves rather than taking it to God and trusting Him for the outcome. Not that we aren’t to do anything, but what we do need to depend on is how God leads us, not on how our fears direct us. So, I commented that there is nothing that God does not see and is not aware of and He desires to take care of us if we will just let him. I don’t know that I would have felt that let alone said it just a couple of months ago!! My views and perspectives are changing before my very eyes and it is all in God’s favor and for His Glory!

I truly believe that He is answering my prayer of desiring to see more power in my life. His power is so great that He can’t just give it to anyone; He has to prepare and strengthen us to handle it with faith, discernment and wisdom. The plans and the future He has for us dictate that we go through this process, as difficult and hard as it is, we need to go through it in order to be ready for what He has for us.

Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever!!